Perfect Surrender

I am a controlling person. I want everything to go just the way I plan. I understand that things may change, but day to day, I get anxious when I feel like something is changing, which I didn't expect. For example, if I planned on going to a bible study, and one of my kids got sick, I would get anxious and irritable, knowing I'd have to cancel and stay home.

This is where surrender is so difficult. Surrender my life as a whole is easy. It's not specific and I can see myself thinking in the long term and big picture of things, like, ya, God you can have my future. After all, I don't know what's going to happen in it. But it's the day to day stuff that I need to surrender.

I need to surrender my daily schedule, my weekly calendar, my notes on the family scheduling board. I want to be ready and willing for whatever God puts before me. I want to be able to stop whatever I'm doing- the dishes, the laundry, getting children dressed, and go where He leads. I want to be like my little girl when she's asleep, sprawled out, completely content and ready for anything. Here I am God! Help me to surrender to you always!