The big change and why.

The big change is that I have left the Catholic church. It's been difficult explaining to people why I am leaving, so I prayed about it. Why have I left? It was mostly a feeling, and I knew that wouldn't suffice as a proper explanation. I prayed, and wondered if I was making the right decision after all. And this is what came to me.

When an old building is being remodeled, scaffolding is used. According to Wikipedia...

"Scaffolding is a temporary structure used to support people and material in the construction or repair of buildings and other large structures."

Becoming a Christian is like being an old building that needs remodeling. The scaffolding represents support. Support from the church, the congregation, and the practices within the church. I was old and tattered. I had many cracks and broken pieces. In the Catholic church I was able to patch some things up, although the scaffolding wasn't there. I was given all the tools I needed- hammers, wrenches, sand paper, etc. The prayers were plentiful, the sacraments were meaningful and the mass was heavenly. I was able to fix a whole lot of my old, broken down self.

But like the old building being remodeled, after I was patched up, I was left to maintain myself on my own. Keep up those prayers, go the mass every week and continually renew reverence and understanding of the sacraments. I would take communion, and kneel at my pew while my little boy climbed on my legs. I would yearn for more support, more scaffolding. I was beginning to fall apart again, just little pieces here and there. I went about trying to find something to keep me from falling apart. The old ways weren't working. Now I had kids and a husband. I needed a new set of supports and assistance. The scaffolding wasn't there.

What I have discovered is that when I first came back to Christianity, to live the life, to truly follow Christ, I was given all the tools, but not the support. I was given prayers, but no one to pray with. I was given sacraments, but no fellowship to be strengthened by them. I was given the mass, and was left alone to find our Lord within it.

I need scaffolding. I need support, fellowship and JESUS. I need to be taught how to evangelize. I need to be encouraged to go deeper, and lifted up by other believers when I begin to fall. I need to be uplifted. I need JESUS! Like the early Christians, I need other believers to live in community with. Those early believers were not left alone to draw close to Christ. They were assembled and supported.

Like the old building, I desire to be made new again. But I need scaffolding to be placed around me so that the changes I make in my life are stable and can withstand challenges. Although, unlike the temporary structure of a building's scaffolding, I need a permanent structure to keep me new and seeking and pressing into JESUS. He is the architect, the body of Christ is the scaffolding, and I have found a new neighborhood.